yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
