I hate all girls vehemently.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
