Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
