Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
