My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
