i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
