You're a womanizer and a bitch.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
