Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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