Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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