It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
