You're my little dorito
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
oh god the rape fog is back!
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Found your dick twin last night
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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