Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
