his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
