Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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