i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
