i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
