He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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