google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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