if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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