Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
