I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
