"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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