I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
There r osticjed everywhere
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
MIDGETS
????
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize