I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
