i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
this just has baby written all over it
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
