how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
