Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
