i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
