i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
