They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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