Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
