We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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