He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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