we're chasing vodka with high fives
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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