So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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