you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize