After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize