Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
