Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
