i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
