I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
