She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
