Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
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