i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
