Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
