fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
