So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
