so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
you made out with another girl for some wings
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
