just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
