You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
