Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
