were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
