there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
