Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
