Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
