I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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