I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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