Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
