woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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