She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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