I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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