this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
