so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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