is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
