Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
