So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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